Tiny acts of kindness
Tiny acts of kindness
“When you do something noble and beautiful and nobody noticed, do not be sad. For the sun every morning is a beautiful spectacle and yet most of the audience still sleeps.” - John Lennon
When I talk about changing the world, I’m not talking about overthrowing governments or stopping wars or finding cures. I’m talking about all the little things that so often go unnoticed each day. I’m looking at those people I work with who are providing a hot meal for those sleeping rough in the town centre, a warm space for a handful of older residents, those small companies able to offer one apprenticeship or a part-time job to someone who just needs to be given a break. It’s also those small courtesies that don’t cost anything but have the power to mean everything; from holding the door open for someone, to remembering to ask after a colleagues’ poorly child, to seeing someone who is clearly not okay, not knowing what to say but just letting them know you are there for them.
You’ve probably seen this quote before; it’s one of my favourites:
“Do your little bit of good where you are; it’s those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world” – Desmond Tutu
Imagine if we all believed that. I do. Do you?
It’s saying thank you, returning a favour, those numerous miniscule actions that, for a split second, make someone else’s life easier, better, happier, or add a drop of hope to an otherwise desperate situation.
Don’t get me wrong, I want the big stuff too: peace, equality, safety for all, but I’ve found that the more I focus on how that is not reality, the more helpless I feel and therefore the less I try to improve it even a little.
I’m fortunate that I see a lot of kindness in my day-to-day work. It’s deliberate of course. Choosing to work with people who set up and run charities; helping community groups improve their facilities and reach more people. I do this work because I need to do it. I want to be on this side of the fence. I want to be with those who do, who try, who believe they can make a difference, even in the face of adversity.
Here are two stories about how someone’s kindness changed my life. I’d love to hear one of yours. Spread the kindness and comment below.
Coffee & biscuits
When my youngest son was born, he didn’t sleep at all. Okay, he slept a lot, but I didn’t. He’d only sleep in my arms and only during the daytime for what felt like forever (I looked back at my journal entries to find it was about nine months, so close enough!). My other son was 16 months old at the time, so still very much a toddler. My partner had gone back to work, and I found myself, as many people do, at home on my own with two babies. I was happy to do this, and looking back, I wouldn’t change it for the world, but whilst from the outside it looked like I was coping just fine, I really wasn’t. I’d started going to a toddler group once a week. This was not my thing at all, but it was a way of breaking up the day and getting out of the house. I’ll never forget arriving at the church hall one morning in a complete state. I hadn’t slept. I hadn’t eaten. The babies had needed my attention every second of the day so far, and I was on the verge of tears. Then Janet, one of the volunteers who helped to run the group came up to me. She could see that I was not okay. She pulled up a chair for me, gave my eldest son some toys to play with, gave the baby to another woman who was only too happy to give him the attention he loved, then brought me a cup of coffee and a biscuit. That was it. She didn’t ask me if I was okay, thank goodness. She didn’t try to have a conversation with me. She just allowed me to sit down and have a cup of coffee and a biscuit in peace for ten minutes. In that moment it felt like no-one had ever been so kind to me in my entire life. Tiny act. Huge impact. I saw Janet many years later, gave her a hug and thanked her for her kindness, which I am certain she had extended to lots of other exhausted parents over the years.
Coca-Cola
In my mid-thirties I started getting migraines. They seemed to come out of nowhere and after trying different medication that hadn’t worked and having an MRI scan just to make sure it was nothing else, I’d come to accept that when a migraine came on, the only choice would be to cancel whatever I was doing and go and sleep it off. One evening, there were around ten people due to turn up at our house for my partner’s birthday, and even though I had a migraine so intense I probably shouldn’t have been driving, I had to drive to the next town to pick up this huge takeaway order we’d rung through the day before. I got there safely but I felt sick, my vision was interrupted by strobing lights, and I felt like I could pass out at any second. Inside, the woman in the takeaway shop tried to chat to me and I mumbled something about not feeling well. I’d added a tip to the money I gave her for the big order. She said she’d only take it if I let her give me some cans of pop and she put this can of original coke (you know the one that actually tastes nice because it has sugar in it) in my hand and told me it might help. I don’t even remember opening the can of coke, but between leaving the takeaway and arriving home I’d drunk it. I parked up and realised that my migraine had completely gone. Now, whether the woman in the takeaway knew what to do, or whether it was just a bit of luck, I don’t know, but I now keep a supply of original coke in my fridge, and every time I get a migraine, I drink one, and it goes away. I did speak to my doctor about this eventually and asked if it could be the combination of caffeine and sugar that my body needed. He didn’t really know, but I do know that since the meeting with the woman (angel?) in the takeaway I haven’t needed any medication for the migraines that had been such a source of frustration for so many years.
When you’re doing your work in the world, whether as an individual, as part of a group or in your business, don’t forget to acknowledge the ways in which you help people with your tiny acts of kindness. We all tend to underestimate the power of this, but it can help to remember that you don’t need to travel far, or reach hundreds of people to make a difference.
So I’ll leave you with the second question for today.
You might find the following free online courses useful:
I’d love to read your answers in the comments below.
Rachel x